Sunday, October 25, 2009

Analysis from the Saints helmet of Annassasolis

1st play of the game and a 1st down pass from Brees to Marques Colston takes the ball out to the Saints 41 - Looked easy, sign of things to come?

After that we witness an incompletion, a penalty and a catch by Pierre Thomas that ends just short of the 1st down marker. Punt. 

First time the Saints have not scored on a first drive of a game so far this season - I've gone and hexed it already haven't I?

New Orleans Saints Hex

Dolphins take over at their own 30.  Pass, run and then convert on they're first 3rd down attempt.  He who is Saints royalty (Sean Payton) challenges the call.  I love the fact he coaches professionally in the same way that I play Madden... challenge everything, go for it on 4th down every time and ask questions later (except I probably wouldn't do it in real life because I'd second guess myself and have a mouth full of Doritos whilst doing it). 

Wow, the review machine isn't working so Peyton looses the challenge when it was CLEAR the catch in question went incomplete.  Bad omens here to date.  Luckily I don't believe in omens... only beer, beer and patisserie items (as a guy from my school used to say, and no it wasn't private... he was just slightly, er, quaint).  Right less inner monologue or I'm going to loose all the people who probably aren't reading this anyway. 

Dolphins go deep for first time but are blatantly rubbish when set against my man Sharper.  Don't try that throw.  There's only one winner and it's not a guy with a fish on his helmet.

Darren Sharper Saints Safety

They fail to convert on another suspect catch and they can't rely on malfunctioning replay equipment this time (who installed that?  Their mates the porpoi?  Or is that porpoise if it's plural? OK loosing it now, stop with the Stella).  Dolphins punt and LANCE MOORE, the most underrated WR in the league takes it at the 6 and the Saints will take over near their own goal line.

Saints begin with a false start and then delay of game penalty halving the half that was half the distance to the goal line before the half distance to the goal line halving call was halved (my decimal fractions are what football is to the Cleveland Browns - confused)... so squeaky bum time - I hate conceding safeties, it's so uncouth don't you think old boy?

Manners Dear Boy

On 3rd and long Bree's over throws his man and some fish returns it to the Saint 3.  Boy are my predictions off today.  First the Vikings loose to the Steelers in the 4th and then... Miami jump out to the early lead for, as I'm typing, Ex Saint Ricky Williams runs in a touchdown over the right tackle.  Talk about salt in the wound whilst shoe horning a vat of lemon juice in there.

Come on Saints, let's start over.  

Ow BABY, that's the start over. Courtney Roby returns the kick off all the way to the Dolphins 15.  Special teams spark things off.

Brees completion but for loss of 5 on 1st play then a carry by Bush results in 3 yards.  3rd and 13...  Brees sacked!  Oh man/woman, this is such a turn around from last week.  We look a completely different team.  I've clearly shot myself in the foot by pronouncing to all and sunder that we would be unstoppable this week.  John Carney comes in for 46 yard field goal and... We have 3 on the board.

Saints 3 Dolphins 7.

Dolphins return to 35 yard line, Troy Evans with the stop (who's in for Scott Fujita this week - rest well my man, we need you back). 

Oh sweet mother of... Ricky Williams picks up that vat of lime juice again and pours it all over the open sore that is the collective Saints wound and runs for a 65 yard touchdown.  Talk about things not going to plan.  The view from inside my Saints helmet is not good.  Well I guess this is what champions are made of.  We need to see if we have the strength of character to respond.  This is where winners are born.

Lime Juice

Saints will take over at the 2 with 4.47 left in the first quarter.

Pierre Thomas for 5 yards. Brees then incomplete to Reggie Bush 15 yards down the left side line.  3rd and 5 coming up. Dolphins bat down the ensuing pass and the Saints will be forced to punt.  This was not in my Sunday night schedule. 

Dolphins from their own 40.  Run, run, 3rd and 2.  Somehow they power through after being stopped on first effort.  We really need a spark here. 

Darren Sharper makes an excellent tackle 5 yards from scrimmage upending Roddy Brown.  Miami run for a few and it's 3rd and 1.  OK, let's here you out there - Deee fence, Deee fence, Deee fence, etc, etc, platitudes to the Gods of run stopping.  And...  The Gods must be crazy (or deaf) as they convert for a couple.  SO on that bomb shell we end the first quarter and I go in search of a beer, a smoke and some divine intervention.  See you shortly.

Read the 2nd, 3rd and 4th Quarter Saints Dolphins In Game Posts by clicking on the Blog Archive in the right hand menu, select October and then find the Quarter you require.

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