Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Top 5 Predictable Things TV Analysts Say About The Saints

It's primetime TV and the nation is tuning in to watch a game from the Super Dome (I'm not calling it that sponsored thing ever). The analysts are on the mic and having just read up on the Saints they are all set to trot out a set of boringly predictable dross to try and clue up a nation. Here we yawn go:

1. Analyst says: That pass broken up by Tracy Porter who you may remember intercepted Manning to seal the deal for the Saints at the Super Bowl in '09...

What they really mean - I don't pay enough attention to the Saints to know whether he's done anything of any significance in the meantime. He's the one wearing number 22 right?

2. Analyst says: The Saints ground game has been outstanding this year with all three backs, Thomas, Sproles and Ingram, sharing the load on a rotating basis. Of course Reggie Bush left for Miami in the off season.

What they really mean - We have to find a way to shoe horn Reggie Bush's name into it somehow if just for the fair weather fans who know diddly squat about the other names I just read out.

3. Analyst says: And up front are the two best guards in the league Nicks and Hicks. Everything starts with them up front.

What they really mean - I haven't got a clue if they still are the best because I pay so little attention to what most guards are doing so let's just assume they are I mean who's going to know otherwise so long as we keep saying they are.

4. Analyst says: Sproles is probably the best free agent acquisition this past off season. Can you think of anyone else that even comes close?

What they really mean - I can't remember last night let alone the off season, someone help me out here.

5. Analyst says: Is there a louder crowd in the league? You walk around this town at night and it is always lively.

What they really mean - I'm amazed I got home last night with my pants still on given how loaded I was. My I do love these weekends away from home.


And now for the top 5 things they're unlikely to ever say

1. Brees really needs to do some more stretching.

2. The Saints are yet to blitz in this half.

3. Patrick Robinson does not start every play 10 yards off his receiver. It's just something he does'nt do.

4. Sedrick Ellis in with the tackle, one of the leagues premier DT's there and one of the biggest steals in recent draft memory.

5. Man I hate this crowd. A bunch of whining spoilt brats everyone of them. They need to learn humility and grace like the fans in Atlanta always display.

Peace be upon you Who Dat nation and all who sail on you.

2 comments:

  1. Don't forget the obligatory - "What if Miami had picked up Brees instead?" That one drives me nuts for a couple of reasons. 1) Whose to say that Brees would have chosen Miami over NO even if the Dolphins docs cleared him, and 2) it has been 5 years, get over it already.

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  2. Very true Saintseester. It always amazes me the undertones of snootery (is that a word) the way some national analysts talk about New Orleans. It's like they speak in polite derogatory terms as if we're just lucky to exist in the NFL. What have Miami done lately? Diddly squat so shut up already as if they're such a big league team. The Saints got Brees because it was a perfect match of integrity and faith and boy has it been a match made in heaven. Superlatives for what a player and person he is are beyond me. Miami got what they deserved for not showing the man the welcome he deserved when he went down there to chat things over. Who Dat Dolphins.

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