Friday, November 11, 2011

Let's Get Ready To Rumble/The Falcons Are Going Down

So the time has come, it's finally down to the real business, it's finally THE FALCONS GAME.

And what a game we have in store. A Saints win and we still have a decent chance of playing at least one game at home in the playoffs. A Saints loss and we're in trouble with the remaining schedule plus it will SUCK big balls to lose to the Spandex wearers.

So I have 5 tips to share with the team this week.

1. Protect Brees
2. Protect Brees
3. Stop Michael Turner
4. Cover Gonzalez on 3rd down/Red Zone
5. Kick Matt Ryan in the balls when he's lying prone on the floor.

OK so that's simple enough right? Ick, probably not but we live in hope.

One way or the other the D needs to win the take away war as they'll no doubt give up some big yardage to the annoyingly able Cack Cans. Without take aways we all get hungry (in my house anyway) so Jenkins, Greer (catch it dude, you keep reading the plays and then look like you're trying to catch an eel in fog), Harper read Ryans eyes (I know it's hard staring into those big vacuous spaces of cloud dust but try) and make a play on the ball.

Dunbar, Casillas, Smith and Co. punch that ball with all your might as thunder thighs Turner passes you. Ellis, Rodgers, Franklin, just plough forward like you've never ploughed before for we have to collapse that pocket. And Morstead, ah my man Morstead, continue to give our D a chance by making those incredible punts and touch backs and give the Trash Cans no space to work with.

As for the O it's all on the front 5. Protect, protect, protect. Oh yeah and open holes, open holes, open holes. Meachem and Henderson please try and get in the game again. The rest play to your normal strengths and we're in with a shout.

Now for my favorite jokes of the week as just made up by me.

What do you call a Falcon with a low IQ? A typical Falcons fan.

What do you call a Falcons fan who is a member of Mensa? You can't, how can you describe that which does not exist?

What's the difference between the entire Falcons roster and a bag of turd? Nothing.

Why did the Falcons fan cross the road? To avoid being laughed at by just about everyone who's ever existed.

What did the die hard Falcons fan say to the other die hard Falcons fan? So like where is the Georgia Dome anyhow?

What did the other die hard Falcons fan say to the other two die hard Falcons fans? Man this sure is a strange game of basketball, are we in the right place?

Yes you heard me right Falcon fans, the most fickle bunch of preening whingers anywhere. Support your team when they're winning why don't ya but pretend like you've never heard of them during times of trouble. You know who you are. Now go suck an egg.

Who Dat!

1 comment:

  1. Give 'em the cheddar! Not a Falcons fan, for sure. Geaux Saints!